How Fat Am I Really???

Don’t answer that…

Yesterday I got frustrated with my scale that is supposed to give me my body fat percentage but can only do so when I balance perfectly on it so that the digital reading can come to an exact weight first. See the picture below.

elephant-balances-on-a-football

So instead I bought one of the ones that you hold out in front of you after entering in all the embarrassing statistics they need to flash a number much larger than you expect right in front of your face. I’m doing this so that even when I have a weigh in like the last one I can check that and make myself feel worse. I guess there is always to possibility that I’ve gained muscle but that might be the biggest cop outs that fat fucks use. Sure muscle weighs more than fat, but if I were really all muscle I’d crash through sidewalks like a falling piano.

So on to the numbers. The one time that I was able to get the fucking scale to work it told me that I had 42% body fat. Stellar. Yesterday before I ate dinner, during one of the times they deemed appropriate to use the tool, I got a reading of 38%. Before anyone gets their statistical panties in a bunch I’m not really saying that I lost 4% body fat. Well I guess I am, but that’s only to further delude myself. I know that I need to use the same tool to measure the same thing at the same time of day to make it is an accurate representation of what’s happening.

I’ll make an “official” measurement on Saturday after my pre-pigout weigh in.

Also, as a follow up to my last post. I weight in on Tuesday just to see if that Monday number was inflated and I was just under 358. So I didn’t really lose anything weight wise the first week.

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Week One Down the Tubes

So week one is in the books. As of Saturday 1/12 I had lost 4 pounds. After the cheat day on Sunday I weighed in today (Monday) morning to 361. An increase of 3 pounds from the start.

Now I ate pretty shitty on the cheat day that included 30 of the new Burger King chicken nuggets. They still pale in comparison to the ones at McDonalds but did the trick. I had rice and some noodles in my dinner too but I also ate a gigantic salad as well. I’m gonna weight myself tomorrow and see if things normalize because I’m pretty sure that 7 pounds in one day would be some kinda record. I even laid off the booze. Not gonna make that mistake again.

During the week I wasn’t 100% on my diet. I had some breaded shrimp on Saturday and a few roasted fingerlings potatoes on Friday night. Even with those transgressions I’m proud of that. The diet is easy to stick to and pretty convenient overall.

I got got two session of kettlebells in doing 75 swings each time. I’m going to add two more exercises from 4 Hour Body, the bridge and some thing that has dog in the name. I’ll get the exact things and outline the workout sometime this week.

Recap:
Weight pre cheat: 354lbs
Weight post cheat: 361lbs

In the meantime here is a video of one of my cardio sessions:

Day One… Kinda

So I started my efforts to lose the weight of 15 average cats (150 lbs.) this past Monday (1/7/2013). This isn’t a new years resolution, more picking up the torch where I left off at the beginning of the summer. Why stop in the summer you ask. I’d rather be a fat fuck playing golf than lose weight. Pretty simple.

I had hoped to start up my weight loss in September or October but food that’s shitty for you tastes too good and I’m an addict. I guess it’s better than heroin. My starting weight is 358 lbs. I had gained back about 10 pounds from when I stopped working out and being on a strict plan. Those are rationalizations for when I started eating like an asshole.

If you read the plan you’ll know that I am also planning on measuring inches on major parts of my body. I haven’t gotten around to that. I have been sticking strictly to the slow carb diet that I chose and I have just taken my first pAGG pill this morning. The ice pack therapy will begin tonight. Even writing that sentence makes me feel like a desperate asshole, but if the shoe fits….

In case anyone want to see my before picture I have posted it below:

pizza-the-hut